Petals Of Perfection

As I look at the raindrops trickling down the window of the bus, I reflect back on everything that has happened over the past year. When this year began, I was honestly the happiest I have ever been in my life. I was in a happy relationship, I was doing well at university and everything had seemed to have fallen into place. 

It was around the summertime when things seemed to fall apart. My relationship ended horribly and it felt like my life had been taken away from me. It was a downward spiral from there. A lot of things happened in my personal life and with my family. We sadly lost a family member, members of our family fell ill and it just seemed to be one thing after another. 

However, recently I have been trying to reflect in more of a positive way; as hard as it is, but I have achieved a lot in a year. From working in Heat magazine and the UKs leading barter company, to getting a number of volunteer jobs with Student Minds, Samaritans and Time to Change. I also launched my own mental health project 'Student Stigma', which was awarded funding by O2's Go Think Big. 

I finished the second year of university with another first, I bought my own domain after 4 successful years of blogging, I am working on some really exciting campaigns with organisations and I have raised £670 for Cancer Research UK and completed the 5K Race for Life 'Pretty Muddy'. I have also been nominated for a UK Blog Award and I have also shared my story in an interview with the Guardian newspaper and lastly, I have met some amazing people who have become my best friends. 

There is a lot more that needs to be added to this list, but even reflecting back on some of my achievements has made me realise that I am doing so well. This year I started CBT and my therapist has been encouraging me to positively reflect. Looking back on everything has made me realise that I'm not doing too bad for someone who is only 20 years old. 

It is safe to say, I have been through a lot this year, some things made me not want to live the life I was living. But I have come out of the other side a stronger person. I am still very much struggling with my mental health as of late and I have been on the hunt for more help, however despite all of this, I am still fighting. 

I really hope 2018 will be a much better year. I will be turning 21, I will be graduating and hopefully starting a full time job in something I love. Although, the future scares the absolute hell out of me and in the last few months I have even struggled to see a future, I know that whatever life throws at me, I will fight on.