Petals Of Perfection

Over these past few months since everything went tits up shall we say, I have had one question going around and around in my head... WHAT NOW?! My relationship made me so happy and I finally felt like life had sorted itself out; but clearly I'm not allowed to be happy for longer than a few months. Obviously, it wasn't just my relationship that made me happy, but it did play a massive factor in it all and it helped me get through the last stretch of uni. 

As you know, I've recently been diagnosed with Anxiety and Depression and I have been battling with that. I am not going into detail but that is why I have been MIA on here... if you want to know more about that then read my previous post.

I go back to uni in less than month and I'm kind of looking forward to getting back into that, so I'm always busy. That's my problem... since I've finished uni I've had SO much free time! I've been off since May so finding something to keep me busy has been a struggle. I have had no motivation, inspiration or a want to blog. I really really hated it for a while... I would pour my heart and soul into a post and get absolutely nothing back (compared to other people). I've started to focus on my health and fitness by watching what I eat and exercising more. I want to get back to a state of mind where I feel at least 90% happy all the time. 

I have no idea where this post is getting at...

So... WHAT NOW! 

My relationship ended and I've been single for 4/5 months now; I feel stupid for not being fully over it yet but I guess everyone takes different lengths of time to get over things... how do I get back out there? 

I'm going back to uni... I'm starting another year... will I find it as bad as first year or will I be ok?

My mental health is stable but I'm not actually doing anything to help change it... will I ever be 'me' again?!

And as for my blog... where is it going from here?! I'm so bored of it now... what do I do?

I feel like I've just lost all purpose sometimes... I feel like I'm stuck, like I can't do anything. Like I have lost all ability to function and someone has just plonked me down somewhere and I keep thinking; what now?!

My blog is up for an award and I'm working with some massive companies, so it seems a but stupid to just give up now and never come back. I will be posting as an when I feel like I want to, but I'm not going to be uploading weekly like I used to and that is ok! I don't want every post I do to be a 'Life Update' or some half arsed post with absolutely no purpose to it... I have a post planned for after this one and I'm going to try my best to make it an interesting read.